The Modern Woman Feels Trapped By The Idea of Marriage: The Story of Three Sisters
Three weird sisters...
I have three little sisters who are amazingly weird.
They are super creative, smart, strong, beautiful, and full of wisdom.
I love them so much. And creativity has formed a strong bond between us—two of them write, the other is a UI/UX expert, and she also makes very good music.
There was a time in their young lives when I began to observe that they were a little different from other ladies.
You know.
Young women want to get into school, study hard, finish school with good grades, get a good job, get a good husband, get married and have kids.
But they had different [and weird] ideas of life and marriage.
They wanted to be independent.
We never had to worry about who they were going out with; if they had a boyfriend hiding somewhere, or if they were one day going to show up pregnant.
So, we were free from the plague that tormented most families that had plenty of ladies. We were free!
But, we had our cross to bear.
They were too smart and intelligent—for their age—far too smart.
And sometimes, when I think about it, I get worried.
There was a time I was always harassing them with my idea of marriage, and another aspect of life we don't seem to agree on so well is religion.
I attacked them with my religious ideas, beliefs and philosophies.
They always seemed to have something to throw back at me.
Well, slowly, I began to understand them.
I just want them to be happy, that's all.
Nothing more.
But sometimes in life, we have got to allow people to discover happiness for themselves.
Don't force your version of happiness on people because you think it's working for you.
I have left them alone (partially). Though I still disturb them, occasionally...
I can't help it [what has a big brother got to do?]
Is Marriage A Burden?
Marriage "is" a barrier and a burden to them.
I might be wrong.
I am writing this so that men can learn.
This essay is not even for women; it's for men, young men.
I want them to learn something vital.
When I sat down to deeply think about it, I concluded that they may have a point.
They might be young and full of zest and enthusiasm, but there are atoms of truth in what they believe.
The modern woman is getting smarter.
She wants to be free.
She wants to explore and be all that she was created to be.
She wants equal opportunities. She doesn't want to feel small or weak.
And you know what? Women, if given the same opportunities as men, will do better than us.
We [men] have messed up a lot of things, a lot.
They are stronger, more dedicated, cautious, calm, truthful, and gentle [I am not saying they are saints, they are just better than us].
The soft nature of women has been more of a disadvantage than an advantage to them.
But it's all changing in this fast-paced modern world.
They are learning how to harness the energy of their soft sides and use it to achieve great things.
The problem we have is with men. Man does not know how to nurture women.
This is what I have discovered as a young man.
If only men can learn how to nurture women, oh, what glory are we going to behold!
But no. Men who get married today are just big old men with the hearts of teenage boys.
You can see a man who is 40 years old. Yes, he's old. But he's just biologically old.
He's a small man [within].
He doesn't know how to take care of his wife or children. He's not a man; he is a boy in the body of a man.
He needs help.
This is the reason why our women are running away from us.
They are scared of us. Especially the young men. The millennials. We are weak, shallow, and cowards.
We don't want women to be greater and better than us. We feel we are men, and that we must be the great ones.
It's a problem. And our women and girls know this.
The weak women don't know what to do.
They just follow weak men, become subservient to weak men, and die empty.
It's sad.
So, I won't blame a woman who has become wise and discovered that she can be more without a man... True?
Well, here's the crux of my argument.
A woman can be great without a man (no doubt about that). But if a great woman has a man with her, she will be greater.
Yes, she will be greater.
Man and woman were designed to be together. To compliment themselves.
But society spoils it.
The things society teaches our boys and girls weaken them mentally.
I am learning to take it slow when it comes to advising my younger sisters.
I have matured, and I am learning and getting better as a man, husband, and father.
Women are like gardens. If you nurture them, they will give you their best blooms.
But we don't have men who have the wisdom, patience, and spirit to nurture women.
Or we have them, but they are really few. Very few. They are an endangered species.
What will the woman do?
She has to adjust. And survive. So we have abnormal things like women forming romantic bonds with other women.
As sad as it sounds and looks, we can't do anything about it. All we can do is keep working to recalibrate the minds of our young men.
Young men of this modern age are just too shallow.
Society fails because of man. If the woman fails, we accuse the man. If the man fails, we accuse the man.
He is the head and is meant to be in charge.
Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to remain in charge.
So, he fails. And his failure is a disaster.
It causes a domino effect, affecting all facets of society.
Our corrupt political structures consist mostly of wild greedy men.
They are everywhere. The world suffers because only a very few men have understood who they are.
This is my message to young men out there.
You are designed to be in charge.
And being in charge does not mean to oppress or torment.
It means to lead the way.
It means to bend down and make yourself the step for others to climb on to greatness.
It means to lead, to sacrifice, to tend, to nurture and guide.
This is what you are.
Your destiny is fulfilled if you can push many into their destinies.
Great men are not selfish, greedy and foolish.
They know that life is bigger than the mere physical things we can see with our naked eyes.
Life is deeper.
While you work hard to get to the top of your craft, career or profession.
Always remember that you are meant to be a leader who should be ready to lead others into their destiny, especially the women around you. And most especially your wife [if you decide to have one].
This is my philosophy of life backed up by biblical principles.
My next essay will focus on how men can nurture women.
There’s a lot of practical wisdom I will be sharing there.
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Good write up but you lost me when you said men were designed to lead. By whom? Perhaps in non industrial eras, men’s strength made it obvious they should lead. But in current times, what exactly does the man have over the woman? Where is he needed to lead?